To spare oneself from grief at all cost can be achieved only at the price of total detachment, which excludes the ability to experience happiness.
-- Erich Fromm --
The one constant in life is change. Life, unavoidably, involves loss. During the turmoil of the pandemic, grief has taken on many new faces. People were mourning their loss of routines, jobs, and plans for the future while fearing for the health and lives of their friends or family. The pandemic has also caused spikes in break-ups and divorces.
The usual gatherings that follow the death of the loved one became dangerous, depriving grievers of a customary funeral as well as the comfort of loved ones’ physical presence. It became a truly isolating experience, and that has been very much amplified during the pandemic. It is not only distressing to be deprived of receiving comfort but similarly to be deprived of the ability to provide comfort. That is yet another loss.
The emotional consequences of loss are so far-reaching that the topic should occupy a significant amount of space in our general self-care plan. But this is often not the case. One explanation for this omission is the assumption that loss is irreversible and untreatable: there is nothing we can do about it, and the best way of dealing with it is to ignore it.
Loss - how counselling can help?
Pandemic has affected many of our core relationships. Addressing this emotion can be a complex process that varies from person to person. Loss is not just about death. It can refer to a wide range of changes or life events.
I work with clients through many different situations and specialise in grief and loss, which encompasses:
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Death of someone close,
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relationship breakup,
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separation,
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divorce,
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loss of job or career,
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loss of motivation and confidence,
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loss of hope,
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miscarriage,
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abortion,
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loss of a pet,
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loss of identity,
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immigration.
Those are all examples of having an important part of our lives taken away from us.
The loss may leave you struggle to cope with uncertainty, change and the feeling of lack of control of your situation. You may feel range of emotions, such as anger, shock and guilt. As a result of loss, we make emotional and social changes to adjust to a new way of life. This adjustment is achieved through the process of grieving.
Grief is a normal reaction to a loss.
Grief is the way of expressing and assimilating these experiences. When grief hits, it can feel like your world has come to a standstill and no one understands you. You may feel like a burden and not want to be around people, or perhaps when around others, you wear a mask to disguise your true feelings. Some people may also find it difficult to feel sadness. They may feel numbness, shock, or disbelief. Every loss is a very personal experience and no two people experience loss in the same way. The pain of loss can feel overwhelming, but there are healthy ways to cope with your grief and learn to heal.
There are three main components affect the process of grieving. They include:
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the urge to look back, cry, and search for what is lost,
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and the conflicting urge to look forward, explore the world that now emerges,
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and discover what can be carried forward from the past.
Social and cultural pressures influence how the urges are expressed or repressed. It is a contradiction that people who cope with bereavement by repressing the manifestation of grief are more likely to break down later than are people who burst into tears and get on with the work of grieving. The former are more liable to sleep disorders or depression.
One to one support
One-to-one bereavement support is an opportunity to talk about the impact of your loss, in confidence, with someone who will be able to listen to your experience of grief. I am trained and qualified to help you process the feelings you have as you go through the stages of your grief.
